IBS can be a debilitating problem to live with. In this post, I discuss the raw truth about living with IBS and what I’ve found to help.
How to Live With IBS
I don’t totally remember the last time I felt 100% well.
But I think it was right before we went to Mexico in 2009.
We headed down there for my brother’s wedding. I was so excited – I had never been to Mexico before. I would be meeting my future sister-in-law for the first time, and I couldn’t wait to be able to participate in the festivities of the wedding.
It was fun trying lots of new foods, visiting the street stores, and getting immersed in a new culture.
I made certain not to drink any water that wasn’t bottled. I asked for no ice in my drinks at restaurants. I didn’t even eat food from street carts, because I didn’t want to worry about getting sick.
Well, everything was going well until about half way through the wedding reception.
I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I had never felt so much pain in my life.
Over the next hour, I just tried to make it through the reception without looking like I was dying.
Which was hard – because I definitely felt like I was.
When we got back to the hotel, my parents were worried. As I bent over in half in pain, I announced to them, “If this is what giving birth feels like, I’m never having kids.”
I still debate which was worse.
My dad ran out into the dark streets of Mexico at one in the morning to try and find me medicine.
It helped enough to help me sleep, but the rest of the trip, I felt a little off.
I thought it would go away, but it really didn’t.
Over the next several years, I dealt with regular abdominal pain.
I think when people hear the term Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), they often think it’s just a throwaway diagnosis. That you just have stomachaches occasionally and you just need something to validate how you feel.
However, the truth is, living with IBS is very difficult. It is a serious bowel GI issue that affects the large colon. It’s hard to feel sick more often than I feel well. It’s hard to not be able to enjoy meals because you don’t know how it’s going to affect you afterward. It’s hard to go to the doctor and have them say, “I know it sucks, but there’s not a lot we can do. You can only hope it gets better.”
It’s hard to have a diagnosis that doesn’t have a known cause or cure or treatment. Sometimes it feels like you are just thrown to the wolves and told to figure it out on your own.
And it’s hard to feel like all you can think about is how much your stomach hurts. There have been many days where I can’t even stand up because I’m in so much pain – where I’ve been pushed to tears because of how horrible I feel.
It’s hard to feel like you have an “awkward” problem. I had a hard time even wanting to write about my experience because it feels kind of taboo. No one really wants to hear about your digestive problems, even if it’s something that so deeply affects your life.
It’s something that you really can’t understand unless you’ve experienced it yourself. And even if you do have IBS, it may be totally different than someone else’s.
When I first started going to the doctor with my symptoms, they were worried there was another underlying reason (such as Crohn’s or Ulcerative Colitis). I had three colonoscopies in a year. Trust me, if you don’t have to have one until you are in your forties or fifties, consider yourself lucky. I also had an MRI, multiple ultrasounds, and tried various medications.
While I’m glad I didn’t have any crazy disease, it was frustrating to go through all those tests. Occasionally, a test would come back with something abnormal, which would prompt them to push for further testing. However, further testing would come back normal – which I was grateful for – but to be told IBS was “probably” the issue felt frustrating. It felt like it was just the fallback diagnosis when they felt like giving up.
Since then, I’ve done a lot of research into IBS, and I realized it’s more than just a throwaway diagnosis. It’s something that affects a lot of people, and it can be hard to deal with.
I don’t mean to be all doom and gloom – there are things you can do to lessen the symptoms. But as someone who has struggled for a long time to not feel well, I know I appreciate reading posts from others going through the same thing. It’s nice to know you aren’t alone.
If you are coming to terms with an IBS diagnosis, I thought I’d share a few tips that I’ve found helpful.
1. Find a supportive doctor
One of the most frustrating things in the world is feeling like your doctor just thinks you’re dumb. I’ve had doctors say I’m just too stressed, or I’m overreacting. While I know I’m a bit of dramatic person, the pain I feel on a daily basis is not just to get attention. Stress can worsen the symptoms of IBS, but it’s not necessarily always the cause.
When we were in Utah, I finally found a physician that I really liked. He listened to me, and he helped me come up with a plan. Unfortunately, we moved soon after to Colorado, and I became pregnant shortly thereafter. My stomach issues actually went away while I was pregnant (both my pregnancies), which was nice (except, you know, I was throwing up multiple times a day instead)! A few months after I had Oliver, I started trying to go the doctor again, and I eventually found an amazing physician.
She is very understanding, and she doesn’t just jump to medication. She actually was the first doctor to suggest that in addition to IBS, I likely have something called Interstitial Cystitis, which is basically irritable bowel of the bladder. It explained why I always seemed to have a UTI when I was tested and a lot of the pain I felt. People who have Interstitial Cystitis often have IBS as well. All the symptoms fit me to a T!
2. Find triggers
While there are certain known triggers for IBS episodes (such as greasy foods, dairy, etc.), there may be something else that cause problems for you. I highly recommend keeping a diary for a few weeks where you write down everything you eat, how you feel before and after, etc. It can be very insightful to helping you figure out triggers.
You can also write down different notes about things that happened during the day and see if something non-food related is affecting your symptoms.
3. Manage Your Symptoms (The Best You Can)
This is a hard one. There are certain medications you can take that can help lessen the severity of IBS. I’ve taken a few, and honestly, one of them just made me feel even worse, and the other one just made me loopy and sleep for way longer than I should. I’m not entirely convinced it even helped – you know, because I was asleep the whole time!
You should work with your doctor to see if there is a treatment plan that will work best for you. Chances are, your doctor will suggest a probiotic. This is something that we’ve been told to use with both our boys (both suffered from severe GERD. Jack had a lot of other digestive problems until he turned three). While I haven’t always been the best at remembering to take one, when I consistently do, I do feel like it helps.
4. Try Probiotics
Not all probiotics are the same. My doctor emphasized to me recently that sometimes it takes trial and error to find the right probiotic – there are different strains that may work better for you. Some are more potent than others, have more “good” bacteria in them, and are just held to a higher standard in their processing.
4. The severity can vary
Somedays aren’t as bad as others. I know that’s the case for me. I’ll wake up occasionally with just a mild stomachache, and I’ll think, “Hey, this day isn’t so bad!” But then other days, I can barely even leave the couch.
It can vary from day to day, and person to person. While it’s a fairly common issue among adults, there are still a lot of unknowns. The fact is, we don’t know why some people are affected by it and others aren’t, nor do we know why the severity is worse in some people.
5. Exercise
When you aren’t feeling well, one of the last things you probably want to do is exercise. I know that’s the case with me. However, it really can help you feel better. When I can push myself to get up and exercise – even if it’s just a walk – it not only makes me feel better, but it lifts my spirits as well. It’s easy to feel discouraged or depressed when you don’t feel well. The endorphins released during exercise can be healing.
6. Drink Water
I think one of the “medications” for many ailments in life is water. It helps flush out toxins, helps you feel less bloated, and it can just make you feel better all around. This may not be the case for everyone, but for me? It definitely helps.
7. It’s not just a stomachache
I think when people hear IBS, they often think it just means you have stomachaches occasionally. And as a result, they don’t feel like it’s really that serious. But it’s more than just a stomachache. Don’t feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone.
IBS can make you feel crampy. It can make your back hurt. Your whole abdomen can feel like it’s just falling apart. It can cause constipation, or diarrhea, or even both. Sometimes, the pain can make you feel super nauseated. I sometimes tell people I feel like I constantly have some kind of food poisoning.
8. Try to be Positive
This is a hard one for me. Some days, the pain is all I can think about, and I find myself telling Forrest about 20 times, “I feel so sick.” I try not to, but sometimes, it’s hard to be positive when the only thing your mind can go to is how much you feel sick.
However, being positive can help. It can help you feel less stressed. Stress is certainly something that makes my IBS worse. And I think positivity can certainly be an antidote for stress.
9. It affects many people
Many, many people suffer from IBS – up to 20% of adults suffer from some form of IBS. Around 15% of children suffer from it as well after the age of five. You are not alone. Even if you don’t know anyone personally – or you don’t feel comfortable talking about it with friends or family, there are tons of support groups and forums online. Find someone that you can talk to. Even if you just lurk around on the Internet, it can make you feel better to know others have gone through what you have.
10. Control Your Diet
Don’t eat to fullness. Overeating just makes things worse. Eat smaller meals throughout the day. Avoid foods that you know make you feel ill.
Some of you may remember that Jack used to be on a diet called the low-FODMAP diet. It’s actually something that is highly recommended for people with IBS. It doesn’t allow a lot of foods (including spices like garlic and onions), but it is something that was developed and many people have seen a lot of improved success by following it.
Almost 75% of IBS sufferers see improvement when following a low-FODMAP diet. I know that when we were good about making sure Jack was only eating low-FODMAP foods, his symptoms improved significantly. It’s something I need to be better about following myself.
11. Get Help
There have been times where I’ve just thought I’m just going to have to live like this for the rest of my life. But there’s no reason to feel that way. You do not have to suffer in silence. While there is no known cause or cure for IBS, there are treatments. Whether it be medicinal, dietary and lifestyle changes, or adding a probiotic into your diet, there are a lot of things you can do – even buying a Squatty Potty might help!
Don’t get discouraged if you try something, and it doesn’t work. Just like no case of IBS is the same, not every treatment will work the same.
IBS Symptoms:
Here are a few signs of IBS. If you suffer from these things on a regular basis, I highly recommend you visit with your doctor soon.
- Cramping
- Abdominal Pain
- Bloating
- Gas
- Diarrhea
- Constipation
Katie is a Colorado-native, BYU graduated, and most importantly, wife to one and mother to three beautiful boys. She is passionate about sharing her experiences with others – especially about pregnancy, breastfeeding, cooking, and crafts. She is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. She loves spending time with her family and helping others find joy in family life.
Erin says
It’s nice to read things that are real.
I have been recently diagnosed with both IBS and interstitial cystitis. I’ve had the pain and symptoms since my hysterectomy and bladder surgery in 2008.
They told me it was ovarian cysts and put me on birth control. I have stopped all artificial sweeteners (even gum!) for the last 5 years.
I found a new GYN and she agreed to remove the cyst and leave my ovaries. She went on a “search and find” adventure to locate to source of my pain. She said my symptoms didn’t match just a cyst.
She looked in my bladder and found moderate to severe IC.
I had a colonoscopy to rule out other causes and was diagnosed with IBS.
It is hard, as you know with the two food lists that don’t mix well.
For me, knowing the cause of my pain has been super helpful. It still hurts but I know why.
Night are rough. I just want to sleep.
Knowing I’m not alone is huge.
Rebecca says
Thank you so much for sharing this post! The way you described the pain, is exactly the way I described the pain to my family. I don’t feel quite so alone now.
Suzieq says
Wendy, I have alternating IBS (constipation and diarrhea). My first gasterointerologist recommended I take 1 glass of Citrucell every morning. It definitely helped. I also used to take a Fibercon pill every morning. I have got the generic versions to save some money. Hope this helps you.
Leslie says
I totally know how you feel. I have IBS and know all to well how you feel. I have dealt with constipation all my life but 3 years ago i was told i have IBS anf to read a book and deal with it.
Sarah Nagy says
What you have described is my life for the past 5 yrs or so. So many tests so frustrating, all good they tell me. I started with the mother of all UTI after being given a course of steriods for a chest infection. The uti would not go, no amount of antibiotics would help. During this 6 mths of hell I had the feeling death was following me around. IBS also started as did pain, nausea, vomiting loss of weight….. and more. Eventually I found on the internet Aloe Vera capsuals for the Interstitial Cystitis. After months of hell and after ONLY 4 capsuals oh the relief, I thank God for this humble herb. I still take it to this day. It truly is THE ONLY thing that will give you back some kind of normal with the bladder, I tried so many things prior to this. Also found an Alkalizer on line, you need this to make you urine alkaline
as it is 100% acidic with interstitial cyts. Now to tackle the Ibs….. sort of it’s trial an error for everyone. Slippery Elm capsuals, google them it makes sense we need to soothe the gi tract and bowel as with ibs well it, the bowel, has a personality all of it’s own……..
Katie says
Thank you for sharing all of this!!
Suzie Q says
Katie, thank you for sharing your story. I too have had IBS for twenty some years. Everyone’s tummy is definitely different. I wanted to post these few tips for your readers in Hope’s it may help someone. As I can tell these are some of my biggest improvements.
Stay away from artificial sweeteners, this by far has helped my symptoms the most. Also soy and MSG’s are a huge trigger. So no more soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce or Dale’s Seasoning. I request no seasoning on my burgers, steaks and chicken when we go out to eat. And lastly drink water.
Nicole says
Thank you so much for sharing this!! It’s like you have taken the words out of my mind! I’m still trying to figure this all out and make things work for me but reading your story is like looking into a mirror. I’ve had days were I’ve thought this is agony and it can’t just be ibs, and then the next day it’s like nothing happened. Thank you again for your story and I don’t feel alone.
wendy says
I have IBS but with mine.I’m constipated I can never go to the bathroom .I have been on so many laxatives they work for a little bit and they stop .My stomach is always bloated and full of gas and my doctor just keeps giving me laxatives ,and it dont work and I’ve been to a couple doctors and they all give laxatives i’m so sick this .I do not know what to do it’s so frustrating. Please if you have any Suggestions I would appreciate them
Katie says
I’m so sorry! Have you tried Magnesium? I have had the best luck with that.
Deanna says
I had this same issue and have been having success with a constipation smoothie. Look it up. It takes about a week but really works!
Andrea says
I was just “diagnosed” with IBS yesterday after a 6 day flare up over the holidays of constantly being in the bathroom. My xrays and blood tests came back ok so the doc suggested starting metamucil in the evening and keeping track of food to find the triggers. I have had symptoms on and off for about the past year or two. Both constipation and the urgent need to ‘go’ along with severe abdominal pains, headaches, back aches, bloating and stomach noises that could disrupt an entire room during a meeting. 🙁 Thank you for this post. It is so nice to not feel alone with this.
Katie says
<3 <3 <3
Kate says
I don’t have anything to add other than say I appreciate how eloquently you put this. I understand; I empathize; I’m sorry.
Glorai says
Thank you so much for writing this! I was diagnosed 17 years ago. I am on day 4 of the worst episode ever right now and I needed to read this. I have been feeling so alone and helpless lately. No one understands how I feel unless they have experienced it.
Linda Choochi says
Itoo have been dianoised with IBS . It’s been over 12 years now. I have tried the cookbook Eating for IBS ,but to not much luck. Probiotics, and using Metamucil periotically. But along with the cramping, I have begun to have rectal pain. Soddenly these horrible pains shoot up my rectum. Once while shopping in Sam’s, I said to my husband ” Oh my gosh I have to find the bath room!” But I couldn’t move a muscle to head to the bathroom. Ifainted, and my arm was caught in the shopping cart. Employees came to help remove me from the shopping cart. They asked me if I was having a heart attach. I said no I have IBS I need to get to a bathroom. The employee, said her sister suffered from the same thing. She helped me get to a bathroom. I brook out in a clammy sweat, was throwing up and having diarreha. Oh I was sick. I episodes have become moe fequent,and I’m having a colonoscopy soon. The doctor recomended for me an antibiotic Xiflaxin to jump start the help with the diarreha. The cost shocked me. A 14 day supply is $1,600. Well needless to say I can’t afford this. Right now I am doig a lot of praying. Trusting God will have the answers I need to help wih this problem. Thank you for sharing your blog. And too all sharing their stories here as well.
Linda says
Wow, to hear all you you talking about this is almost refreshing as strange as that might sound! I have IBS and it has not been good. I have a HIDA scan on Wednesday.
One thing I didn’t see was any one saying that their stomach was all swelled up. I heard bloated, but I look pregnant and I’m 61! =) Maybe that is why the Doc is doing the scan.
Tracy says
I have suffered with IBS for 32 years. It can be very debilitating at times. I have learned to keep my life free of drama and stress as much as possible. The stress really makes my IBS act up. I have eliminated all dairy, garlic and onions from my diet and it made a big difference. I follow the Low FODMAP diet also. I do not take probiotics because I also have SIBO and probiotics are a big mistake with SIBO(small intestine bacteria overgrowth) The studies I have read state that as much as 80% of people that have IBS also have SIBO. If you have not been tested for it, you should be tested. It’s a simple breath test. It’s also very hard to get rid of. I take flax oil and Heathers Tummy Fiber daily to help with bloating and alternating bowel habits.
I have missed more work due to this syndrome than at any other time in my life. My dentist I work for is very understanding as he has seen me turn green with an episode while working. It’s hard when everybody just thinks I have a stomachache or that i am a picky eater. The cramps are horrible. I will be writhing on the floor in pain at times. Just know that your not the only one. The rest of us understand completely. Good luck with your journey!
Ashley Lane says
Thank you for posting this. I have been on a roller coaster of different medications, doctors, and tests…all coming back normal, and making me feel like I am crazy, even though my symptoms have made me weak, lose 30 pounds, and just generally feel lousy. Reading your story made me feel like I am not so alone…thank you for your tips as well. Best of luck to you as you continue your journey managing your IBS! <3
Katie says
Best of luck to you, too! <3
Jessica says
THANK YOU! IBS is such a taboo topic as you mentioned and can be very embarrassing to discuss. I have been suffering for quite a while with no real relief or rhyme or reason. I never know when being out and about is going to turn disastrous. When a road trip with too long between pit stops is going to be embarrassing. I’ve had several embarrassing moments, 1 just 10 minutes away from my home. It’s a very lonely problem too but I can’t/don’t share these issues with friends in casual conversation. I feel very alone and very helpless.
Nancy says
Thank you for the info… suffering a long time … helps to know in not alone…. I take fiber( Metamucil), helps somewhat… going to Ro cancer ( via colonoscopy ( then going to a alternate med doc.. thanks againNancy
Katie says
Best of luck!
Sparklingrowth says
Hi first of your blog is amazing well done for doing a blog and looking after a family and dealing with ibs. Since I was a little girl I’ve struggled going to the ‘toilet’ I recently ended up having to go to the doctors about it and they gave me movicol the problem is it doesn’t work and recently I have been throwing up after feeling so bad. Do you ever throw up from it I don’t know people with it ? My doctor doesn’t seem to take me serousily and it really destroying my life.
Katie says
I’m so sorry! Just keep pushing for answers until you find the right doctor.
Jessica Hoskins says
Thank you Katie for posting your experience with I.B.S. I found out a few days ago that I have had I.B.S. for the past 7 years & didn’t know it!!! I was informed that I had the “classic symptoms of I.B.S”, only after I had my Gastroenterologist’s nurse read the notes (that he has) over the phone to me. I think that I might have that other condition that you mentioned in your blog, because it almost fit me to a “t” when I read it. When I get in to see my Gastroenterologist on June 27, I will DEFINITELY mention the other conditions that you mentioned earlier, so that I can get a final diagnosis (in this area), once and for all.
Danielle says
I actually do have Crohn’s disease and hearing you say your symptoms were quiet during your pregnancy struck me as odd for IBS. Only because IBD (Crohn’s or UC) often goes into remission during pregnancy because your immune system is naturally suppressed. Crohn’s can be difficult to diagnose especially if there isn’t active inflammation to biopsy at the time of a colonoscopy. And you can have still have symptoms even if your scope showed no inflammation. Anyway, the point is, it may still be Crohn’s or ulcerative colitis (not to scare you!) so just make sure it’s monitored closely. I wouldn’t wish Crohn’s on my worst enemy, so I pray it isn’t that, but if so, getting a diagnosis & proper treatment is crucial. ? And on a lighter note, I love your blog! I’m a new cricut owner and found you while searching for project ideas ? It’s like you read my mind when you said you kinda wanted to just stuff it away somewhere and not deal with figuring it out. ?? I was so excited to get one and now it’s been sitting here for well over a month and hasn’t even been plugged in yet! Lol I’m hoping to find the motivation to bust out with it later and give it a shot though! Wish me luck! Lol Thanks for the inspiration, & take care!
Katie says
Hi, Danielle! Thanks for your email. I have never felt “content” with my diagnosis of IBS – I feel like it’s just been what my doctors have thrown at me because they can’t figure it out. I think it’s odd that it went into remission during pregnancy as well. In recent months, my current doctor and I have discussed the possibility of endometriosis, which I also have symptoms of and is actually often misdiagnosed as IBS. Over the past year, my symptoms of whatever issues I have have just gotten worse, so I hope that someone can help me more soon!
Anyways, I’m so glad you like my blog – especially my Cricut projects 🙂 I hope you’ll stick around for some more tutorials! Always feel free to ask questions 🙂
Sheena says
Hi, i have terrible IBS. Recently i had terrible abdominal pain and was literally thinking of dying. Went for a scope, doc just concluded it as IBS. I feel pain everyday, some days i just dont want to get off my bed. I have low self esteem because of it. People around me just think it is normal stomach ache. I am married and it is also affecting our sex life. Most days, i just feel crappy.
Whatever you wrote in this article is basically what i am thinking about. Thank you for spreading the awareness of IBS and your support for all of us IBS patients.
Katie says
I’m so sorry to hear about your IBS 🙁 It’s such a debilitating issue that so many suffer from, yet many don’t understand. I hope you can find a relief!
Sheila says
Thank you so much Katie for your article!! I dont feel so alone. I have had IBS most of my life finally diagnosed 4yrs ago. I struggle everyday, have to start and stop working, cancel plans, put my life on hold. It’s so awful to feel awful!! I finally found a great doctor and he’s suggesting the low fodmap diet. Thank you for giving me hope!!
Katie says
I’m so glad that this gave you hope! It’s a hard trial to have – that is for sure. I hope that you can find some relief with the low FODMAP diet!
Melissa says
No, 30 hours of labor was WWWAAAYYY worse. That being said, at least I knew that would end with the birth. IBS is here to stay. Its changing my life and not in a good way 🙁
Donna says
Hi there.. I to suffer from ibs,have for a few years now but seems to be getting worse as i get older. 2 days I’ve been on the couch with nausea and running to the toilet (have to take immodium for that)..
It’s a horrible illness and wish someone would find a cure for it !!!
Cat says
I was diagnosed with ibs when I was 20. It’s been rough honestly your right it’s not just stomach aches. The cramping and feeling like your gonna be sick is overwhelming. My fiance shakes his head when I tell him for the 45th time oh just going to sit on the toilet and drink my tea.
. Like sorry I cannot find anything that helps. Just recently found out I need my gallbladder out. Surgery is Thursday actually.
Food journals help. I know my body cannot tolerate dairy, beef, fried foods, even foods just cooked in oil. It sucks but I rather not feel like I’m dying.
Your article speaks the truth!
Katie says
I totally agree – it does suck to be on a limited diet, but it much better than feeling terrible. My triggers are fried foods, gluten, and dairy (all the good things in life!). I hope that your gallbladder removal will help!
Tehia Goben says
Hey Katie,
Thank you for this article. I was just diagnosed with IBS about a week ago. I am having to learn things and give up things at 23 that just suck and child birth is less painful then this. I was wondering though if you would be able to help me navigate the restrictions and some exercise. I have started yoga but I went for a run early and well I missed dinner because I was in the bathroom. Any help is good help thank you.
Tehia
Katie says
Hi, Tehia! I’m so sorry that you are having to deal with IBS. I’d be more than happy to help you – feel free to shoot me an email at katie@clarkscondensed.com 🙂
Kara B says
Great article! Thanks for the tips. I also noticed that my IBS symptoms went away while I was pregnant! It was amazing! I could eat whatever I wanted with no pain!
Katie Clark says
Hi, Kara! Thanks for commenting. It’s so weird how it goes away with pregnancy! I was really hoping that maybe I was just cured! But no such luck. Glad you thought this was helpful!
Forrest Clark says
And I think that comment probably said it was from Forrest…but it wasn’t. I’m logged into his account 🙂
Lauren says
I’m sorry you have to deal with this, I have IBS too and it’s miserable. People don’t realize how debilitating it can be. I’ve had to cancel so many plans with my family because of a “bad tummy day.” I used to love hiking and now the thought of being far from a restroom is terrifying, so I can barely do that any more. I hope you start to get some relief soon!
Katie says
Thank you. I am so sorry that you have to deal with IBS too 🙁
Chelsea @ Life With My Littles says
Yikes! This sounds miserable! I am so sorry you have to deal with that every day! Even just being sick for a few days is rough on me. I’m glad you’ve got a great doctor and have found lots of ways to help manage it!
Katie says
Thanks Chelsea! It has definitely been a difficult trial for me. Finding the right doctor has brought me such peace of mind =)