Comments on: Short Story: Hit and Run https://www.clarkscondensed.com/short-story-hit-and-run/ Modern Day Homemaking - Cricut, Glowforge, Family Recipes, and More! Tue, 25 Jul 2023 13:41:02 +0000 hourly 1 By: Kristalyn Ford https://www.clarkscondensed.com/short-story-hit-and-run/#comment-3264 Thu, 22 Aug 2013 03:44:47 +0000 http://clarkscondensed.com/?p=2515#comment-3264 I am almost done with Ender’s Game! I really like it!

I really like your short story! It held my attention well and drew me in right away. The one thing I could suggest is maybe trying to somehow make the character’s emotions and/or feelings come out a little more in the kidnapping scene. It didn’t feel as suspenseful as it could have. Maybe it’s becuase he was looking back, but it just seemed like he was calmly evaluating what to do next. I can’t wait to hear more!

]]> By: Mariely https://www.clarkscondensed.com/short-story-hit-and-run/#comment-3107 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 14:55:21 +0000 http://clarkscondensed.com/?p=2515#comment-3107 I really like it!! You kept me at the edge of my seat. Keep practicing because I can totally see you writing a book.

]]> By: Forrest Clark https://www.clarkscondensed.com/short-story-hit-and-run/#comment-3104 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 14:03:14 +0000 http://clarkscondensed.com/?p=2515#comment-3104 In reply to cindy.

Thanks for the encouragement!

]]> By: Forrest Clark https://www.clarkscondensed.com/short-story-hit-and-run/#comment-3103 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 14:02:43 +0000 http://clarkscondensed.com/?p=2515#comment-3103 In reply to Katelyn.

Thanks, editing is very important. When I first finish I’m just happy I got a decent idea down, and I am too lazy to refine it. I’ll see if I can refine it sometime.

]]> By: cindy https://www.clarkscondensed.com/short-story-hit-and-run/#comment-3098 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 03:08:16 +0000 http://clarkscondensed.com/?p=2515#comment-3098 That was really good! I SO want to know what happens next. Keep writing!

]]> By: Katelyn https://www.clarkscondensed.com/short-story-hit-and-run/#comment-3097 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 02:21:35 +0000 http://clarkscondensed.com/?p=2515#comment-3097 The beginning is strong, but then you do too much jumping and the ending is super rushed. You need to build the suspense the questioning until the very end, making the reader guess as you go. You give it all away too soon. Also, in the second half, too many of the sentences start with “I”. You need to switch it up and have different sentence structures.

But, a fun idea! There’s my hopefully helpful criticism. I love editing. 🙂

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